4 posts tagged “school”

I am upset. Way to be lame and write about it in my journal but I thought it would make me feel better. I had a shitty day yesterday. I didn't go to sleep until like 3:30 in the morning and then I woke up at 6:30 because I had to use the bathroom so knowing that my alarm was going to go off in less than half an hour, I simply got up. I had to function on three miserable hours of sleep. I stopped by Mary McGuire to see if Mrs. Carroll would mind if I used her for a reference on my resume and she wasn't there. Then I went to computer lab where I worked on my assessment assignment for ed psych and then my music file for two hours. I also had my portfolio assessment. I went to class. A class in which the professor didn't show up so after fifteen minutes I left and went back to the computer lab. I fixed up my resume. Went to physical science class in which we were all assure by the professor that no one has failed his class before and that only one person in the class was close to failing. It wasn't me. Then I went back to the computer lab and fixed up my part of the presentation. The presentation was a miserable failure. Chris and I worked our asses off on that presentation and we got an 87 because Leah and Keith didn't know what the hell was going on. I might go and talk to the professor. But after my horrible sleep deprived day, Brandon and I went to Lil Chef and then watched Grey's. Then we had to watch Happy Feet with Mallory. I did not want to watch the movie but as usual no one asked me. I didn't want to hang out with Mal either. Brandon doesn't understand that I don't like to hang out with people who make fun of me.

Today I went to the Teacher Fair. I got a lot of information. One guy from Prince George County he pretty much did everything but offer me a job. He was like what can I do to get you to come to Maryland to Prince George County? I was pretty excited about that. My home school district was there and the one guy was rude to me because they were only looking for special education teachers. The lady was nice though. I meet a lot of people and talked to a lot of schools. The last school I talked to was the Arizona school that has 6th grade centers that I was really excited about. There was a lady talking to me and to another girl. While she was talking, I got really dizzy. And then I couldn't hear very well...everything sounded really far away. I almost fell over and had to grab the lady's arm. They got me a chair and a bottle of water and were super nice to me. I was so embarrassed though. She asked me if I had eaten and if I needed something to drink and if I was going to be alright and I told her that I had epilepsy just in case I did have a seizure. I was afraid that I was going to have one. I didn't. After a few minutes I could hear everything and I wasn't so dizzy. I think I was just dehydrated. I had forgotten a bottle of water and I've been really really thirsty lately. I also hadn't eaten anything. I was so scared that I was going to have a seizure. I don't know what I would've done. There wasn't anyone I could've called. And there is no way Morgan would've left the teacher fair to take me home. She could barely give me the time of day to say hi when I ran into her. As soon as I felt well enough to get up and walk, I went home. I was so embarrassed. A million people probably saw me. I realize a million is a little far-fetched but at least a hundred people did. There was a few lines for  Michigan school districts nearby with a ton of people in line. I was mortified. What an awesome way to make an impression on a potential future employer. No one is going to hire me if I pass out or have a seizure before an interview. I went home and made a sandwich and took a nap. Brandon called and I told him the whole story. I told him he should make me dinner and he said he would but he was going to take a nap. He text messaged me a few hours later to tell me that I should come over and play cornhole and hang out with his roommates and Brian's friend Sarah and all her roommates. I called him and told him that I didn't really want to hang out with his roommates and Sarah and her roommates. Cory hates me so why would I want to hang out with him. Sarah is annoying and I really can't handle her constant enthusiasm and everything being sweet. At least not today.I don't know her roommates but I'm pretty sure they're fairly similar.  I really can't handle that right now. I have had a horrible day and I don't feel well at all. I just want to sit and watch a movie and eat soup or something. I don't want to hang out with a million people that either don't like me or that I find irritating. But apparently the fact that I had a horrible day and didn't feel well meant absolutely nothing to Brandon because he just kept telling me that I should really think about coming over. Then he said he was going to go back outside and that he was going to let me go. Let me go to sit here by myself in my apartment with roommates who hate me. Let me go to sit by myself and be miserable. It didn't really seem to bother him that I sat here crying on the telephone. I knew he was going to do it. I knew when I got that text message that he was just going to leave me to sit here by myself and cry. He didn't care that I was crying and upset and that I had a horrible day. He only cares about himself and the fact that he wants to sit around all day and play some stupid games. He said I could call later or that he would call and he hasn't. I'm not going to call him. I'm not ever going to count on him again. I can't handle this I'm going to be there for you one week and then I can't be there for you another week because I have better things to do. I'm not doing well. I'm really sick. I'm very depressed. I don't need someone who can't be there. I need someone who will just sit with me when I'm sad or upset. I just need someone to be there.

My mom laughed at me today when I told her about crying yesterday. It wasn't a haha you are SO ridiculous. It was more of a "what am I going to do with you" laugh.

I talked to Renee in the midtier office today about Port Huron fulfilling my last diversity requirement for urban. She told me that it does and showed me the website that I can go to that tells me how to contact any of the schools. It was pretty much super helpful.

I also visited my corrective reading professor and double-checked on my extension. She told me just to leave a note in the beginning of my binder. That was pretty awesome.

Before I did all this, I drove to Vestaburg this morning and read with Nicole. She forgot her permission slip...AGAIN but she read four passages and another set of sentences. She might actually be done or only have one more reading to go which is excellent.

My mom told me yesterday that my grandma got me a chocolate cross for easter...I was like hmm is she trying to tell me something?

My mom also told me that Landmark Academy is hiring. I checked. They're hiring high school teachers. I have a feeling that she is going to be job searching for me for the next year or so. Awesome in a draining sort of way. I can just imagine the phone calls.

The Port Huron Area School District website...the school board was talking about wanting to get local graduates back in the school districts as teachers...which really got me thinking about everything. Would I want to move back to Port Huron if I had the opportunity?

Random journal entry, eh?

I asked Evan for help with my physical science notebook...I feel bad because he wrote back that he's really busy. So I'll probably tell him to forget it. I don't want him to not get something done because he helped me.

My parents contacted the Make a Wish Foundation about Haily. She wants to go to Disney Land or World...whichever one is in Florida. They called the house the other day to talk to my dad. How cool would that be if she could go? I didn't know they did things for kids that didn't have terminal illnesses but apparently they do. She would be so excited.

I'm getting snappy and angry again. I think I need a break. I don't mean to be but I'm having a hard time coping with my living situation again and I feel like everyone is treating me the same way my roommates do. I think, however, that I may just be being a little over sensitive. In some cases anyway.

the subject of my entry is from a commercial...it was just on and it was hilarious

I added some more pictures to my blog also

I'm getting excited about my student teaching. I was really depressed recently and was honestly thinking about giving up. Like I was seriously thinking about not wanting to teach. I'm a little more myself tonight though and I actually sat down and looked at the website for the charter school they placed me at for student teaching. I'm getting excited. And I've been thinking about it and if Steve and I live together, I won't have to work as much because my rent will only be $250 a month instead of $500 and if I don't have to work during the week that means I can be more involved in the school and that is awesome. They have a ton of after school programs which would be excellent. I had been really depressed about having to take a summer class and about not doing well in a few classes this semester...but I'm not doing that poorly. I got an 85 on my recorder competency. That's a B and that's the lowest I've gotten in that class. Mind you I probably failed the quiz I took last week but I still have another quiz and I have two major projects still. And for my Corrective Reading class I still have a ton of points with that Case Study still up in the air and I got a B on the midterm. And as far as Physical Science is concerned I could fail the class and my gpa would still be high enough for my major. I'm sure everything will be just fine. And I have to take that history class this summer but it's a different prof than I originally took it with and I only have to get a C+. I looked on rate my prof. and he gives detailed study guides so that's excellent. And if i have to write a research paper then I already have one...I could just fix it up with the suggestions that Dr O'Neil made...or just write a brand new one...either way.

I don't know...I'm just trying to be more upbeat about things. I'm hoping if I throw myself into my school work and stuff, it will take my mind off my problems with my roommates. I'm really going to get seriously involved in this case study and work really hard on it because I want to help this girl. She's so cute and even though she has a hard time reading, she loves to read and I want to help her so she doesn't start to hate it. It makes me sad when kids start to hate reading because they're not good at at. I understand why they do because I hate things I'm not good at...I hate my music class....music is hard for me, i don't understand and I feel like it's a totally different language. And I imagine that's what it's like to have a hard time with reading. Sort of except that I don' t have to deal with music every day like kids have to deal with reading every day. So it's only a kind of sort of understanding...I can begin to understand which is more than I could before because I love to read and have always loved to read and have always been good at reading so it was really hard for me to comprehend someone not liking reading. But I really want to help this girl with reading, I don't want her to hate reading.

I want to play racquetball.

I should be studying for my physical science test. I don't care about coulombs per second. I don't care about amperes. joules. watts. I want to know how this applies to my life.

I had a fantastic weekend.

I did not want to come back here. I didn't want to come back to my apartment. Rachel called me today while I was at work. Morgan isn't really talking to me. I wonder if Rachel is talking to Morgan.

I feel as though this week will not be good. The idea of Valentines Day is hard for me. Especially when I look on myspace and see all the people I used to go to school with and they're married and have kids and here I am still in school. It's all very depressing.

I feel bad. I was grumpy with Brandon last night. I was going to call him after I got out of work. Partly because I didn't want to study. Partly because I feel horrible.

I have been a horrible friend to Korey lately. I had no idea she was still going to counseling until she said something when we were in lansing the week before last. I am the worst friend ever.

I want to visit my midtier kids but I don't want to go while Morgan is there. I want my host teacher to hate Morgan. I want the kids to hate her as well. Partly because I feel like I hate her right now. Partly because they are my kids.

I need to change my attitude.