2 posts tagged “irritation”

I'm irritated. I don't want to go to work.

I wish I could just fast forward to December. That would be fantastic. I guess in terms of time travel, I would at least settle for like June 11th or something. Then I would be moved in to my new shithole apartment.

I have one class left today. One three hour class and then I'm done for the week. I get to go home tomorrow and I'm so happy about that. I miss my family a lot. I haven't gotten to see them since Christmas. It's only been a month and a half but I don't really get to talk to them that often on the phone because I have so much going on between work and school. I feel like a miss so much being away for that long. I've also just been so stressed here since classes started and it will be nice to get a little bit of a reprieve from that despite the fact that I will have to start studying for my physical science test. I'll at least get a bit of a break from work which will be nice especially after getting into a fight with Gene the other night about having to stay late. I ran into Evan today while I was cutting through the library to get to the computer lab so I could do my blackboard quiz before class. I ended up talking to him for like fifteen minutes. He was being really nice and he got really excited about helping me with physical science. He kept spilling his coffee because he was moving his hands around. He's been pretty weird lately again. I don't really know what to think of it. Some days he's super nice like today and other days he's a complete asshole like he was on Saturday. Some days I think he's the nicest guy ever and then other days I think he is the most irresponsible person I've ever met. I mean seriously, who just doesn't show up to work and for no good reason? I don't know what to think about that whole situation.

I  was at the SAC yesterday and ran into  Brandon and his roommates. I almost turned around and left the room when I saw them there. I'm really self-conscious when I'm working out and I don't like to see people that I know while I'm there. I feel like people will be thinking wow I don't know why she wastes her time. I really would have turned around and left if they hadn't looked up and saw me. I don't like his roommate Cory and I figured he would have something smart to say about me being at the SAC at the same time they were. He always has something to say. I guess he didn't say anything though. I asked  Brandon last night just out of curiousity. Then we got into some big discussion about how his roommates really a nice guy, he just seems like a jerk sometimes. I definitely don't think Brandon understands what I was trying to say even though he said he did and he also said he wasn't angry but I feel like he was. He was a little defensive. I honestly don't understand how he can even stand to be around him. He tried to tell me that Cory doesn't really  mean the things he says. Why say them then? Why waste your breath? That's my take on it. Nothing he says is funny. He's a narrowminded asshole. I intensely dislike him. I don't like his views on anything...to me he's just another small town, small minded idiot who's going to grow to raise more small town small minded idiot children who believe in the same terrible things he does. I take offense to everything he says about gay people. Several of my cousins  are gay. Kevin is dealing with assholes who drive by his house  everyday screaming "fucking faggot" and throwing things at his car and at his mothers car. To me, Cory is just like those assholes. Words are just as bad as actions. Cory is no better than those assholes. I honestly tried to give him a chance. I really did but I see nothing good in him. I'm sure he can be a great guy but his attitude about certain things completely overshadow any positive attributes he has, at least in my opinion. It also really bothers me that he says shit about me. He does it all the time, whenever Brandon leaves the apartment he'll say something about the wifey. That's what he calls me and that drives me crazy. He also says things that are much more vulgar and disrespectful and then he'll act like nothing when I'm over there but whenever my back is turned or I can't see him or his girlfriend they'll make gestures and Brandon acts like it's nothing. He says nothing to them. He never tries to defend me. He just lets them say shit. He lets them get away with it. Maybe I'm being a little overly sensitive about it and I've definitely considered that point but I honestly wouldn't be upset about it if they joked around about it while I was around. But to do it behind my back and as soon as I leave a room is just terrible. And it really hurts my feelings when Brandon tells me the stuff that they say and he doesn't tell them to stop. I feel like if he was really my friend he would at least tell them to stop. And I really don't think he gets that. I really think he just thinks I'm being stupid or that I'm jealous that he and his roommates have been hanging out so much. And maybe I am just a little bit because I don't hang out with my roommates, I barely talk to them now. I also feel as though he's sick of me being around so much because I don't like being at my own apartment.

Maybe things will be better when I have my own apartment and a dog. My dog will stick up for me. And he won't have mean roommates. He won't get sick of me either.