2 posts tagged “emotional”

Today started off a little rough. I didn't feel well.

I drove to class this afternoon early. I had to print some papers. I dropped off my application for graduation on my way back to the music building. There was a nice lady that explained the final graduation audit to me and stuff. I almost burst into tears on the walk back. I'm not sure what the deal is. I think it was because I never thought I'd get to this point. I honestly didn't. I've been in school for so long. So, so long.

I cried in the car on the way home. I had Fleetwood Mac playing in the car and a song came on and I just cried because it made me think of my family. My mom more specifically. I cried and cried and probably looked foolish. I miss my family so much.

I don't know. It's pretty lame.

I felt a little better tonight though. I need to get some sleep, I have to drive to Vestaburg in the morning.

I bought a book of quotes yesterday when I was in Lansing, or East Lansing or perhaps it was still Okemos...I don't really know but I was in a bookstore in the Lansing area. I also drove there and back and didn't get lost at all. Big accomplishment for me. Anyhow, I bought this book of quotes and I'm really excited about it. I love looking up quotes online when I'm bored. I have pages and pages of them saved on my computer. My favorite is George Bernard Shaw. He's pretty awesome aside from the fact that he's the guy who first said the thing about teaching, something about those who can, do and those who cannot, teach. Other than that he's a pretty smart guy. Most people don't know this about me but I'm a huge geek about stuff like that. I really do love quotes. So I was pretty happy when a giant book of quotes was on sale at Schulers.

It's already after ten today and I've already had my first cry of the day. A little ridiculous. I was upset when I got home last night because my schedule is changed again, they have me scheduled to work tomorrow again after telling me that I couldn't work last week. So I need to go in and talk to Gene or Dave and tell them that I can't and that they're being really disrespectful. All week I've been planning on getting a ton of stuff done on Sunday. I have a lesson plan I need to do. I have a test Thursday for a class that I am completely lost in that I need to start studying for. I need to go and buy dress clothes for my interview on Monday. This is all stuff that I can't really do at 9 o'clock tomorrow night, should I have to go into work all fucking day. So I woke up this morning an hour and a half before my alarm was to go off and I woke up irritated. And then I was thinking about all of that and a bunch of other stuff. But then I signed on here and read my last entry from Thursday night and cried. I really, really hate crying. I cried in meijer last night because Brandon and I were talking about Thursday night. I cried in the vaccuum aisle. Wow. How lame is that? He thought I was crying because I thought he was mad at me. And it was a little more complex than that but it's really hard to explain things when you're crying and you hate crying and there are people around. I did think he was mad at me so I was upset by that but a lot of it was the fact that I feel like he doesn't really understand where I'm coming from. Maybe. I don't know. I don't really remember exactly why I was crying. I think I was still upset about the night before. I know I'm still upset about the thursday night because I am even now.

I should probably put my work clothes on and go to work now since it is now 10:38 and I'm wearing pajamas.

I had a lot of fun with Korey yesterday though. That was nice.